perfect...

last night i was told by a best friend that i always try to be the perfect girlfriend, the perfect friend, the perfect person and that im afraid of disappointing people and since i know myself very well i knew this but when she said it it made me realize that its not a good thing. you cant be always perfect. sometimes you have to disappoint people. sometimes you have to be yourself and put yourself first. but what happens when youve never put yourself first and you never thought you should. i dont want to but when your friends start to worry about you and start telling you that its unhealthy do you listen to them or do you keep going down the path your going on. i mean i know i dont look perfect and i guess thats why i feel the need to act perfect.... have you ever felt the need to be perfect? to make everyone happy? how do you get over doing something youve done your entire life? is it destructive or just not right for yourself?

Vulnerablity....

sometimes i dont get how vulnerable people can be even if they dont open up that much. or even how subconscious the most beautiful girl can be. i honestly dont get it. so one person doesnt see you as beautiful or gorgeous or whatever does it really matter. i mean i know peoples opinions matter but should they matter THAT much. i think everyone is beautiful if not on the outside then on the inside and i think guys should be more sensitive to the fact that girls care more about what you say then you think they do. We over analyze everything that you do, say, and possibly what your thinking. im guilty of it and also of being overly conscious about my body it happens we all have days like that....i guess when you start to grow up though you begin to trust those around you the ones that see the real you and that little girl in the back of your mind finally shuts up. i just wish i realized this when i was younger because it would have saved me and my friends some hard times. girls realize who you are and love it because you are one in a million dont give in a become some carbon copy of someone that probably will be copied so many times no one will remember the real person she was.